Personal Expression, Release, and Exploration of the theme of "Breaking"

Ok a couple of years ago I told a friend that I had come up with a theory of breaking…three types of breaking…

1) negative breaking… That is someone sets out to destroy you, to abuse you, to crucify you.

2) positive breaking… Someone breaks your walls down and opens you up, so you can feel again, so you can melt and dissolve and truly touch another person inside

3) borderline breaking… This is the razor’s edge between positive and negative, which is a dangerous but magical domain.  This combines elements of both positive and negative, and it can be unclear whether this is “bad” or “good.” One can have very mixed feelings and this is the edge, the place where you are taken to a level you may be afraid of yet long for, or where you may hate someone for doing to you yet it may be the best thing anyone ever did to you, in one sense.  

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Comments on: "Three Kinds Of Breaking, Boundaries (possible trigger warning, not sure)" (4)

  1. First, let me say that this post scares me. I have, historically, been afraid to open up to others. When I first read this, my immediate reaction was to type in some comforting words about how women need to be respected, and that no one deserves rough and tumble relationships.

    But then I realized I’d need to practice what I’d preached. Haha. Shatteredandshining, I can understand the idea of borderline breaking. I think it happens when to people of volatile temperament get together. I also think that borderline breaking can be a kind of negative breaking. Opposites attract, and similarities repulse. Thus, two people who are very similiar might not like each other very much. They see the flaws in each other, and are reminded of the flaws of themselves.

    Two people who are very different emotionally might see the traits of the other person positively. How many timid and submissive people admire outspoken assertiveness? Who knows, the number is infinite.

    Perhaps borderline breaking is when the two are similar, but also different. If possible, I would like to add another type of borderline breaking, type 2. If we imagine borderline breaking to be volatile and passionate, then the second type would be where the couple doesn’t communicate very much. They don’t communicate, and passion isn’t flaming high, but they both secretly admire the other. It’s a relationship where both are cold on the outside, yet admire and love each other on the inside. Maybe they are afraid to show it? I don’t know.

    I really don’t know.

  2. Wow. I just typed a long comment and then promptly lost it before it could post. What I was trying to say was, yes, the borderline breaking between two people of volatile temperament who are “too much alike” just happened to me recently with my friend of two years who just left, there were a lot of very positive AND very negative aspects to our relationship, I still feel a bond with him and want him back in my life as my friend, and feel if he would give me another chance I could be a much better friend than I was, but he feels I guess he has given me too many chances and we are not a good match, because we hurt and trigger one another and sometimes negatively break each other. But I feel that if he just wouldn’t give up, that we could have a much more positive relationship. I would be willing to go the distance for him but he has walled me out. One day at a time, acceptance, etc….

    Anyway, the “borderline breaking type two” is a good addition to this theory, when two people are cold and distant to one another but in their hearts love and admire each other in many ways.

  3. there s some good points here

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