Personal Expression, Release, and Exploration of the theme of "Breaking"

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The OCD is part of me,it’s real, it’s there.  Chronic doubts, intrusive thoughts, obsessive thoughts.  But it is not ME.  I am a lot more than it. I am beyond it.  Right now, having the urge to remember and go over my thoughts about myself.  In me I have what is real, what is beautiful and meaningful, inside (as do we all).  Even though I get away from it sometimes, or worried that I don’t measure up.  Have to let the ego and perfectionism go.  But I am not nothing.  

 

What am I? I am what I am.  

 

Anyway, always looking for what’s Real.  What’s Real is there, but can’t be grasped by clinging to my thoughts about what is Real and not letting go and just being in the moment.  What’s important will come back.  I can’t hold on to my vision constantly, it hurts to let go of my tight grasp on my thoughts but has to be done.  Why is Reality always slipping from me? It is so damn FRUSTRATING.  

 

Most people, do not understand my thought process I guess.  So what.  I am me, not them.  As long as I have those who DO understand, I can deal with that.

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Comments on: "Empowerment, And, Frustration" (6)

  1. I can definitely relate to the first paragraph.

  2. Gaseimasha said:

    I don’t think you’re broken. I never have. I do think, however, that you are wrestling admirably with your inner demons. Everyone has their own particular set of problems. The things that they need to overcome throughout their life. You seem determined to solve yours and that’s quite admirable.

    One could almost say that there is nobility in such determination. At the same time, I can tell you from bitter experience that what goes into your mouth has a huge effect. If you were to just cut out soda or sugary drinks of any kind for one month, you would feel a huge boost in energy and esteem by the end of it. And that’s just from the chemical changes! No extra effort needed. 😀

    • Thank you Gaseimasha…I appreciate it…though I do not mind the word broken, it can have good meanings as well as not so good ones, and the not so good ones I accept as parts of me, but yes in the way I think you mean it, thank you very much :)… I am a little confused about what you are saying about what goes into my mouth has a big effect…I am not sure what you are referring to, I have not talked anywhere about what I eat or drink…confused why you mentioned that. If you are talking about chemical imbalances I believe I have an organic one, yes, or a structural problem in my brain of some kind…but this is just one aspect of me, I may have problems but also have gifts too

      • Gaseimasha said:

        Oh, lol. Sorry about that. I just meant that diet has a huge impact on mood and stuff. Thanks again, Gaseimasha. 🙂

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