Personal Expression, Release, and Exploration of the theme of "Breaking"

Posts tagged ‘anger’

An Open Letter To My Ex Friend. Names Will Not Be Mentioned. Please Excuse The Mistakes Of AutoCorrect, I A

I am letting go.  There is no relationship between us any more.  We never really were meeting each other, overall, during the relationship.  And now the trust that I did have and wanted to buildbayou broke it. I’m sure you would say the same of me.  So the relationship is broken now, I am becoming freer and freer.  I am connecting with other people in meaningful wayssee trying to keep some kind of relationship with you is not serving me.  I guess you thought you were doing the best thing for both of us, and I guess it is turning out to be true.  I am no longer tied to you.  My hopes and dreams are untangling themselves from you.  I tried everything I could to reach out to you despite your silence to break the wall but as we talked about a long time ago the other person has to be willing to have their wall broken and you are not, so I release you.  There is no relationship since you have made sure of that with your almost complete silence.  I will look to others for what I need since you never really wanted to give it and you feel so differently about relating to yourself and others than me in certain big ways.  And you blamed ME so much of the time.  You think I am the one who needs to grow and change.  Yes I do…but my ex friend, so do you.  and I am no longer beating my head against the wall trying to please you or make you see I am worth sticking by and connecting with..  

Burned

Done with lies

Done with cries

I slam the door and cut the ties

 

My eyes are gouged out

My ears securely covered

 

Forget everything you meant, the fire has turned to ash

You never did quite hear me

And it poisoned me and made me ill

I may be sick all on my own

I tried with you too long

And it’s hopeless now I guess

So I will burn the bridge and forget you exist

I would like to destroy myself

And this world.

 

 

Random Thoughts…On Acceptance, Being Accepted, and Accepting Different Aspects

If people can’t understand me or who I really am, maybe I shouldn’t blame them or dwell on them, because not everybody is at a place where they CAN do this.  I know who I am.  And even what I do not know, I still am what I am.  Just attract those who get it, and me, and let go of the others.

Sometimes someone else can see and point out the good in us that we do not see.  This happened to me recently.  I felt that someone saw, accepted, and encouraged me, someone I have a lot of respect for.  May it continue.

Sometimes in the search for Ultimate Reality one can get too caught up in that, and dismiss THE REST of Reality.

i am MORE than my mental illness, yet I HAVE a mental illness.  I am not just like everybody else, yet, I am.

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