Personal Expression, Release, and Exploration of the theme of "Breaking"

Posts tagged ‘Breaking’

Being Held (a story I just wrote)

http://wattpad.com/story/10681138?utm_content=share_passage&utm_source=ios&utm_medium=link

Hidden Language of Desire

There’s a hidden language I am trying to get to, it lives deep inside. It is of desire, heart, and soul…and of connection, intimacy, fulfillment of deep desires, healing. At times I catch glimpses of it,yet, it remains hidden and buried.

At times this language is about breaking and being penetrated…about surrender, and giving over, hurting me to heal me…and having someone know me, see me, love me. Breaking me and breaking me open…touching me with soft healing strokes in the most sensitive places. Opening wounds and mending them with your touch. you are taking me deeper, to places seemingly long lost.

Make me trust you. Let me trust you. Let me know I’m safe with you. That I am safe to let you do these things to me.

Heart Breaks Open

When the heart breaks open…and the inner me comes through…normally hidden from view…

Break Me With Love (very short erotic story, warning, if this bothers you, again, don’t read)

He knew how vulnerable I was with him, emotionally and mentally. He knew the power he had over me, and how he can send me into a tailspin. He deliberately pushed my buttons with the words he used, tearing back the bandages with which I bound my wounds and stripping away the walls I’d built for safety. I started to get agitated then, and I felt the tension build inside me. My breathing became shallow and my hands grasped at the nearest objects, nervously pinching and pulling on them. I managed to speak. “Now…now…I’m really stressed,” I got out. He gazed at me, calmly, but concerned. He gazed deeply into my eyes. I could see understanding in them. He then got up and came across the room to where I sat, huddled in the chair, and he pulled me against him. He cradled my head against his shoulder holding it with one hand, and he put his other arm protectively around me, his hand softly on my back. “It’s okay,” he whispered softly to me. “Settle down, settle down.”. He held me like this for a little bit. He stroked my hair as I trembled. As he continued to soothe me, I felt inside like my insides were on fire, were melting, like I would break into pieces. I let myself relax in his embrace and I instinctively held on to him tightly. I felt his hands slowly and gently feeling their way over my body. They violated me, sensing the deep aching I had inside me. I felt as his fingers pushed my thighs apart and found my secret place, and the wetness. He was stroking me, rubbing me, probing inside me. Deeper and deeper…until all I could do was crumble, completely surrender to him. I gave myself over, utterly helpless, broken. His.

Still Trying To Figure Out The BDSM thing If You Want To Call It That…The “Breaking” Thing…In Me…

I am still trying to figure out how the BDSM stuff comes into play for me in my life, and what my “romantic” needs are.  I would like to find someone who can break me in the way I discussed in my previous posts about breaking, well, the first two…the “what is my fascination with breaking” one is a good description of something a big part of me seems to want.  I would like to find the right person to explore things with.  I have not found him yet.  he would have to be someone I had a deep level of intimacy and trust with.  

Borderline Breaking…Continuation of Reflections

Yet another type of breaking. One which is in a sense destructive but it’s purpose is freedom and “violent rescue”. Which I believe is behind some self destructive acts and things that people often don’t understand. An impulse to destroy what in oneself is causing the torment and perpetual choking of the soul so to speak. Or to destroy the walls and barriers. This is “borderline breaking.” It stands at the threshold, the razor wire…turn one way it’s dangerous, another way, it’s radically freeing. Threshold of destruction and creation, perhaps

Multiple Meanings, Levels, Aspects of The “Breaking” concept.

More about the breaking…it is not just a “BDSM” sexual thing..there is reality on multiple levels. And they interconnect…breaking is a part and a pathway to connection with our self inside, and with another on a deep level, and to broader awareness. It is not destructive. It is healing and freeing. Liberation, release. Sometimes breaking is good. Sometimes we need to break…break through…it does not always mean breakdown or destruction, at least not in the negative, tormenting sense. Words can’t capture the essence. But the word for me is important…I have my little fixations.

Breaking open. That is a good way to put it.

The BDSM aspect…that is another aspect. I am trying, to figure out how it all relates, ties….where reality lies. As usual.

What is my fascination with “breaking” really? It can mean different things, but…here’s probably the biggest for me…

What is the fixation with breaking? With the concept of someone “breaking” me? It’s a fetish and a fixation but what exactly is it? I think it’s someone being intimate enough with me to understand my vulnerabilities, and “cracking the shell” so to speak, piercing through it, breaking me down to who I really am and to a raw and vulnerable and open state. Taking control of me in one sense, in the sense of being somewhat forceful and guiding me in it. And the person being there for me and supporting me through it and reassuring me that they are there. I think all this is what I mean when I say “break me” for the most part and in a deep way. And this has a lot in common with some therapies and spiritual initiations, except it for me has an intimate, romantic, sexual, element as well…and love is present.

Poem…by “Rashani”.. I LOVE…Just Found Posted on Facebook last night

“By the miracle of your being…

There is a brokenness…

out of which comes the unbroken,

a shatteredness out…

of which blooms the unshatterable…

There is a sorrow…

beyond all grief that leads to joy…

and a fragility…

out of whose depths emerges strength…

 

There is a hollow space…

too vast for words…

through which we pass with each loss,

out of whose darkness…

we are sanctioned into being…

 

There is a cry deeper than all sound…

whose serrated edges cut the heart…

as we break open…

to the place inside which is unbreakable…

and whole,

while learning to sing….”

 

~Rashani

 

Artist Unknown

 

 

 

 

Sustenance (Poem)

There’s so much I want to say

So much of Reality that I would like to put words and images to
To make manifest in forms
But the waters are murky and muddy
And the picture hidden from view
Bang my head against the wall
The glass needs breaking
Like a coconut, hard to crack
Surrounded
And encased

In a hard shell

The warm liquid inside is sustenance
But the shell…
It’s hard to break.
I want to be
Where the waters intermingle
Where the colors flash and shine
As what they are
As the multiple facets, indispensable
Of the one Reality
Inviolate,undisturbed,yet open,soft,and yielding
Real.

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