Did we ever have a real connection? I know we didnt meet enough.did we have a spiritual connection or did we not? Does there remain one regardless of whether you ever want to act on it again? Or not? You.threw it all away like people did to you, you didn’t need me anymore, decided our relationship was not worth fighting for, despite the good that was there, despite the breakthroughs that happened, that could’ve still happened, despite you saying once that abandoning me would be like abandoning yourself, but you changed your mind. Why? Because you found her to fulfill all your intimacy needs? I could’ve been a friend, I could’ve grown and changed in a lot of ways, I would’ve still had to be myself though, and follow my own path, which you decided you I guess diverged so much from mine because I value inclusion of negative emotions, of respecting people’s insecurities and fears, of engaging wounds and patience with people’s pain and flaws? Is that why? Is it I was not perfect enough? Is it really that you felt that I could not or would not change? I know that you felt I was untrustworthy. I know I reacted so strongly to my abandonment fears that from time to time I temporarily lashed out verbally…that I didn’t perfectly respect your boundaries…Why did you decide that we couldn’t continue to grow together, really? Why did you decide to completely wall me out? Why are you so I unempathetic to me and my pain?
Posts tagged ‘broken relationships’
I really have to accept that it is over and done. He is not open to me any more or any further breakthroughs. He said it. He is done. I have to realize he is not who I wanted him to be, and he is not wanting of what I thought I saw in him. I have to move on to being myself separately and looking to new relationships and possibilities of relationships for the connections I truly need and want. That’s all I can do. I wanted to include him but he doesn’t want to be included. God grant me the serenity to accept what I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. God help me let go and let God (you). God please help me and please help him