Personal Expression, Release, and Exploration of the theme of "Breaking"

Posts tagged ‘desire’

Hidden Language of Desire

There’s a hidden language I am trying to get to, it lives deep inside. It is of desire, heart, and soul…and of connection, intimacy, fulfillment of deep desires, healing. At times I catch glimpses of it,yet, it remains hidden and buried.

At times this language is about breaking and being penetrated…about surrender, and giving over, hurting me to heal me…and having someone know me, see me, love me. Breaking me and breaking me open…touching me with soft healing strokes in the most sensitive places. Opening wounds and mending them with your touch. you are taking me deeper, to places seemingly long lost.

Make me trust you. Let me trust you. Let me know I’m safe with you. That I am safe to let you do these things to me.

Take Me

It flows through me like lava, burning my soul

It makes me want to shake and lose all control

Sometimes it breaks me, sometimes it makes me feel whole

It makes me live, when life has taken its toll

It wants what it wants but disappears at a whim

It teases and taunts and sometimes fills to the brim

To be there with it I have to go out on a limb

The way to contact it leads through the within

I write and talk to you and ask you to stay

I don’t want to bother you but I have so much to say

The cracks in the walls come out when we play

You know I’ll be there with you, come what may.

Abandonment

The screws tighten again …I follow this winding, curving path…I keep getting entranced by dreams…taunting me, mocking me, they caress my hair…do I turn to you for comfort…I sit in silence…chanting my own name…looking for a memory…to remind me who I am…to remind me of safety…always trying to bridge the gaps…I don’t want to be left behind again…left behind and swallowed in dirt….dust clinging to my eyelashes, saturating my eyes, my vision…blinding me to all but emptiness and abandonment…in my dreams the waves overtake me…swept out to sea and sudden death…I am always fighting…tired of walking in the desert approaching what I think is an oasis…only to find a cruel mirage…where is solace….where is what life should be…where are you…why do I call your name, only to hear my own echo …but it’s not me…and it’s not you….where…are…we…do not let me go…do not let me go.

Poem-“Borderline” please scroll down if it doesn’t appear at top of page.

Faith Nikki Ian
 
Steven Leon Farrimond
 
Faith Nikki Ian
 
Faith Nikki Ian
 

“Borderline”

Suffocating
But fighting for survival.

I’ve been walking on the borderline
For a long time.
Used to the mediated light
Forgetting that the sun
Is still intact.

Break me!
Take me beyond,
Take me through.

Show me that
I’m still alive, here, and real.

I’ll get down on my hands and knees.
Destroy me.
Your pain is healing.

I forgot who I was
In solitary confinement.
From my tomb it takes war to free me sometimes,
Violent rescue.

At the borderline
You take and hold me there, on the edge.
It’s a razor wire, you know.

Turn one way, it’s dangerous.

You might go over the line.

I have been waiting here
Bound and shackled.
A prisoner
Studying the bars on the walls

But I never give up
On living again.

Steven Leon Farrimond
 

Profound.

Found this today on Facebook.  It speaks to me.  This is what I want most deeply.  But there are all kinds of barriers and limitations on people being able to give you this in this Earthly life, at least.  Both through fears, and limitations of our ordinary perception, the filters and blindnesses we have, and trouble truly seeing others, this isn’t our fault, it is part of our imperfectionS as human beings, everybody has them.  However I still want this and will not give up on receiving it whether sooner or later, I believe in its possibility even if not possible for it to be constant while we are in this life.

 

Look at me and see Me

Touch me and Feel who I am

Talk to me and hear my words

then close your eyes..

in silence

and feel the tremblings of my soul…

 

 

Someone To Reach Inside

i want someone who can reach inside me and touch the wounds in a healing way, and connect as a whole person with the whole person who I am.  Break me, soothe me, help me build back up.  But not just anyone can do this.

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