Break me sensually. Then hold me and comfort me while I shake….
Another fantasy. Sharing and opening ourselves to one another. Including our light and dark aspects, happiness and sadness…
Let me open up to you. Open up to me. Let me trust you and take me to levels of passion, vulnerability and surrender. Take me for all of me, and let me take you for all of you. If you want me to learn certain things to make you happy, I will do my best.
Let me be who I am, and respect me.
I am still learning..,a long way to go..one thing, I am submissive in aspects of me, but definitely not a slave. I couldn’t surrender my whole will and life to another person twenty four/seven. I need to have strength in myself and a sense of who I am, and I know myself and what I need better than anyone in a lot of ways. I want to express the aspect that is submissive, but I also want to be an individual and have my own sense of strength and self within me, plus I have yet to find someone I could totally entrust everything in me to, lol. This is where I am at now, I am not judging anyone or trying to speak for anyone else, this is just where I personally am at.
I want to find someone who I really connect with on a heart and soul level, first and foremost, someone who can know, accept, understand, and love me…but I also want them to have a dominant side, where they can take control and guide me at times, protect me, comfort me, and push my limits at times and help me break through. I want to be able to give myself, and know I will be Safe and Loved.
I want to be able to at times submit in a sensual and sexual sense…to play and be taken control of, and overcome. I want to be able to experience surrender. I want to give myself over and be taken over at certain times.
Also it’s possible that with the right person, I could switch, too, IF he wanted me to….
Where I’m at
More about the breaking…it is not just a “BDSM” sexual thing..there is reality on multiple levels. And they interconnect…breaking is a part and a pathway to connection with our self inside, and with another on a deep level, and to broader awareness. It is not destructive. It is healing and freeing. Liberation, release. Sometimes breaking is good. Sometimes we need to break…break through…it does not always mean breakdown or destruction, at least not in the negative, tormenting sense. Words can’t capture the essence. But the word for me is important…I have my little fixations.
Breaking open. That is a good way to put it.
The BDSM aspect…that is another aspect. I am trying, to figure out how it all relates, ties….where reality lies. As usual.
I have this duality in me I am trying to understand, explore, resolve. I guess many of us do. This is a big thing for me right now…integration…