Posts tagged ‘intimacy’
There’s a hidden language I am trying to get to, it lives deep inside. It is of desire, heart, and soul…and of connection, intimacy, fulfillment of deep desires, healing. At times I catch glimpses of it,yet, it remains hidden and buried.
At times this language is about breaking and being penetrated…about surrender, and giving over, hurting me to heal me…and having someone know me, see me, love me. Breaking me and breaking me open…touching me with soft healing strokes in the most sensitive places. Opening wounds and mending them with your touch. you are taking me deeper, to places seemingly long lost.
Make me trust you. Let me trust you. Let me know I’m safe with you. That I am safe to let you do these things to me.
It flows through me like lava, burning my soul
It makes me want to shake and lose all control
Sometimes it breaks me, sometimes it makes me feel whole
It makes me live, when life has taken its toll
It wants what it wants but disappears at a whim
It teases and taunts and sometimes fills to the brim
To be there with it I have to go out on a limb
The way to contact it leads through the within
I write and talk to you and ask you to stay
I don’t want to bother you but I have so much to say
The cracks in the walls come out when we play
You know I’ll be there with you, come what may.
After you bound my wrists above my head you straddled my waist, holding me down securely, take over my body. you reach your hands up and gently cup the sides of my face, your intense gaze penetrating my eyes. You gently stroke the hair out of my eyes, then kiss my eyes, nose, the corners of my mouth softly, slowly. suddenly you reach down and your fingers are THERE…gently stroking and feeling, then probing and pushing inside me, touching and antagonizing the aching need inside me. I have become liquid in your hands, starting to tremble, I’ve never been touched this way before, everything inside me is warm and tingling and I feel like crying out, a whimper escapes my lips, then all of a sudden you switch positions, you swiftly bring your head down and then, your tongue is there, this is too much, coming undone, and you are kissing, licking, sucking, the most vulnerable part of my body, touching me with your tongue in places inside I didn’t know existed, caressing and teasing and torturing me, you have me, you stop for a second and whisper softly, “thats it baby, thats it, let it all out, all the pain,” and you start again, and I am melting, no escape, I am breaking, shuddering,moaning, crying, screaming, I have never felt so vulnerable or such exquisite agony, I am coming undone, cracking, shattering, in waves of bliss and surrender, you are relentless until I have completely given it all.
I am clinging to you with the little strength I have, I have never been taken so completely, I am quivering,warm, liquified. I don’t know which way is up and which way is down, only that I am completely broken and shattered, and in bliss I could never have imagined. You hold me tightly against you, cradling my head in one arm, softly stroking the strands of my soaked hair with the other, you kiss and lick my tears away. “Everything is okay,” you whisper, soothing me. “Just rest now. I’m here now.”
Sent from my iPad
There is love…being embraced, understood, cared for, known, and doing so in turn..
-There is being comforted. There is wanting someone to see your pain, and, wanting your pain to make them pull closer to you…to soothe the pain and soothe you. To heal you, and to take you, and, take care of you inside. To want to get as close to you as possible and melt you inside, and kiss the pain away, and to take control in a sense, during that.
-There is also wanting them to have the control at times over you where they can spank you, punish you, make you vulnerable in that sense…bring out your tears and break you down to an extent. But… at the same time where you feel safe and cared for during that and know that they wouldn’t take inflicting pain or punishment too far or purposely TRULY hurt you. And that they are there for you, and want you, and will not leave you …and will hold you afterwards, and comfort you.
I dream of him, the one I haven’t met yet, the one I kept looking for. Opening me, reaching inside, loving me, soothing me, protecting me, knowing me. And allowing me to do the same for him, learning together how to take down the walls. Breaking me at times, bringing my tears to the surface, holding me in his arms.
You swiftly and decisively grab me, pull me against you, holding me securely. .i have wanted for so long to be in your arms, though i have feared the feelings inside me, feared being overcome by my longing and my helplessness with you.
First you make sure I know I am safe with you and of your intentions. To touch me, touch me so deep inside….you begin to run your fingers over me gently, over my face, my hair, the length of my body…my breasts, my stomach, my hips, my thighs, then slowly upward from my thighs…you caress me with first your fingers, your hands, then, your lips, your tongue… you caress my wounds inside. I am opening inside…You make me ache, cry, and scream for you…it hurts and heals as you kiss the pain and any last resistance away…until…until I am melting against you, melting into molten flowing rivers of warmth and sweet agony…then I am exploding…breaking inside and you are shattering me…while freeing me, destroying my last defenses. ..you totally embrace me, hold me hard and don’t let go…as I convulse and shake and quiver, in your arms…you kiss my face gently as my shaking resides…stroke my back, my hair…look at me with your dark intense gaze ….hold me still…reassure me that it will be okay and you are here with me and you are not going anywhere.
Break me sensually. Then hold me and comfort me while I shake….
Another fantasy. Sharing and opening ourselves to one another. Including our light and dark aspects, happiness and sadness…
Let me open up to you. Open up to me. Let me trust you and take me to levels of passion, vulnerability and surrender. Take me for all of me, and let me take you for all of you. If you want me to learn certain things to make you happy, I will do my best.
Let me be who I am, and respect me.
I am still learning..,a long way to go..one thing, I am submissive in aspects of me, but definitely not a slave. I couldn’t surrender my whole will and life to another person twenty four/seven. I need to have strength in myself and a sense of who I am, and I know myself and what I need better than anyone in a lot of ways. I want to express the aspect that is submissive, but I also want to be an individual and have my own sense of strength and self within me, plus I have yet to find someone I could totally entrust everything in me to, lol. This is where I am at now, I am not judging anyone or trying to speak for anyone else, this is just where I personally am at.
I want to find someone who I really connect with on a heart and soul level, first and foremost, someone who can know, accept, understand, and love me…but I also want them to have a dominant side, where they can take control and guide me at times, protect me, comfort me, and push my limits at times and help me break through. I want to be able to give myself, and know I will be Safe and Loved.
I want to be able to at times submit in a sensual and sexual sense…to play and be taken control of, and overcome. I want to be able to experience surrender. I want to give myself over and be taken over at certain times.
Also it’s possible that with the right person, I could switch, too, IF he wanted me to….
Where I’m at
He knew how vulnerable I was with him, emotionally and mentally. He knew the power he had over me, and how he can send me into a tailspin. He deliberately pushed my buttons with the words he used, tearing back the bandages with which I bound my wounds and stripping away the walls I’d built for safety. I started to get agitated then, and I felt the tension build inside me. My breathing became shallow and my hands grasped at the nearest objects, nervously pinching and pulling on them. I managed to speak. “Now…now…I’m really stressed,” I got out. He gazed at me, calmly, but concerned. He gazed deeply into my eyes. I could see understanding in them. He then got up and came across the room to where I sat, huddled in the chair, and he pulled me against him. He cradled my head against his shoulder holding it with one hand, and he put his other arm protectively around me, his hand softly on my back. “It’s okay,” he whispered softly to me. “Settle down, settle down.”. He held me like this for a little bit. He stroked my hair as I trembled. As he continued to soothe me, I felt inside like my insides were on fire, were melting, like I would break into pieces. I let myself relax in his embrace and I instinctively held on to him tightly. I felt his hands slowly and gently feeling their way over my body. They violated me, sensing the deep aching I had inside me. I felt as his fingers pushed my thighs apart and found my secret place, and the wetness. He was stroking me, rubbing me, probing inside me. Deeper and deeper…until all I could do was crumble, completely surrender to him. I gave myself over, utterly helpless, broken. His.