Personal Expression, Release, and Exploration of the theme of "Breaking"

Posts tagged ‘longing’

I Dream

I dream of him, the one I haven’t met yet, the one I kept looking for. Opening me, reaching inside, loving me, soothing me, protecting me, knowing me. And allowing me to do the same for him, learning together how to take down the walls. Breaking me at times, bringing my tears to the surface, holding me in his arms.

Still Trying To Figure Out The BDSM thing If You Want To Call It That…The “Breaking” Thing…In Me…

I am still trying to figure out how the BDSM stuff comes into play for me in my life, and what my “romantic” needs are.  I would like to find someone who can break me in the way I discussed in my previous posts about breaking, well, the first two…the “what is my fascination with breaking” one is a good description of something a big part of me seems to want.  I would like to find the right person to explore things with.  I have not found him yet.  he would have to be someone I had a deep level of intimacy and trust with.  

Sustenance (Poem)

There’s so much I want to say

So much of Reality that I would like to put words and images to
To make manifest in forms
But the waters are murky and muddy
And the picture hidden from view
Bang my head against the wall
The glass needs breaking
Like a coconut, hard to crack
Surrounded
And encased

In a hard shell

The warm liquid inside is sustenance
But the shell…
It’s hard to break.
I want to be
Where the waters intermingle
Where the colors flash and shine
As what they are
As the multiple facets, indispensable
Of the one Reality
Inviolate,undisturbed,yet open,soft,and yielding
Real.

Real

Touching in deep places

When the glass shatters and breaks

We will meet again

 

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Kitty (a short story experiment,which may not be finished yet)

Kitty had always been quiet.  She elt fragile around people.  She felt like she was made of glass, that she could be broken and shattered.  She felt transparent, that people could see through her and would shove her violently aside and use her for their own purposes; think she was an empty space that they could fill with whatever they wanted; judge her reality as worthless, and easily dismissible.  

 

So she kept to herself.  She held herself off, built walls and barriers.  She disguised herself as much as possible because she did not want to break and she did not want to be obliterated.  She lived in a secret world, where no one could see in.  

 

But after a while she couldn’t see in either a good part of the time.  

 

Her sadness and isolation is evidenced in her eyes at times.  Sometimes they are blank though; veiled, inscrutable, indecipherable.  

 

But deep down, there is a part of her that knows there is something else.  Something other than THIS.  Sometimes, she catches glimpses of it.  

 

Sometimes her eyes get a focused look to them, a door opens, light comes shimmering through the cracks.  

 

Sometimes she wants someone to see inside.  She made herself invisible, but she is tired of being invisible.  She wants someone to come in, who is different than the others.  She wants to be safe and held.  She is tired of disappearing.  

Profound.

Found this today on Facebook.  It speaks to me.  This is what I want most deeply.  But there are all kinds of barriers and limitations on people being able to give you this in this Earthly life, at least.  Both through fears, and limitations of our ordinary perception, the filters and blindnesses we have, and trouble truly seeing others, this isn’t our fault, it is part of our imperfectionS as human beings, everybody has them.  However I still want this and will not give up on receiving it whether sooner or later, I believe in its possibility even if not possible for it to be constant while we are in this life.

 

Look at me and see Me

Touch me and Feel who I am

Talk to me and hear my words

then close your eyes..

in silence

and feel the tremblings of my soul…

 

 

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