Personal Expression, Release, and Exploration of the theme of "Breaking"

Posts tagged ‘lost love’

I needed to get this out and sort through it

Did we ever have a real connection?  I know we didnt meet enough.did we have a spiritual connection or did we not? Does there remain one regardless of whether you ever want to act on it again? Or not?  You.threw it all away like people did to you, you didn’t need me anymore,  decided our relationship was not worth fighting for, despite the good that was there, despite the breakthroughs that happened, that could’ve still happened, despite you saying once that abandoning me would be like abandoning yourself, but you changed your mind.  Why? Because you found her to fulfill all your intimacy needs?  I could’ve been a friend, I could’ve grown and changed in a lot of ways, I would’ve still had to be myself though, and follow my own path, which you decided you I guess diverged so much from mine because I value inclusion of negative emotions, of respecting people’s insecurities and fears, of engaging wounds and patience with people’s pain and flaws? Is that why? Is it I was not perfect enough? Is it really that you felt that I could not or would not change? I know that you felt I was untrustworthy.  I know I reacted so strongly to my abandonment fears that from time to time I temporarily lashed out verbally…that I didn’t perfectly respect your boundaries…Why did you decide that we couldn’t continue to grow together, really? Why did you decide to completely wall me out? Why are you so I unempathetic to me and my pain?

An Open Letter To My Ex Friend. Names Will Not Be Mentioned. Please Excuse The Mistakes Of AutoCorrect, I A

I am letting go.  There is no relationship between us any more.  We never really were meeting each other, overall, during the relationship.  And now the trust that I did have and wanted to buildbayou broke it. I’m sure you would say the same of me.  So the relationship is broken now, I am becoming freer and freer.  I am connecting with other people in meaningful wayssee trying to keep some kind of relationship with you is not serving me.  I guess you thought you were doing the best thing for both of us, and I guess it is turning out to be true.  I am no longer tied to you.  My hopes and dreams are untangling themselves from you.  I tried everything I could to reach out to you despite your silence to break the wall but as we talked about a long time ago the other person has to be willing to have their wall broken and you are not, so I release you.  There is no relationship since you have made sure of that with your almost complete silence.  I will look to others for what I need since you never really wanted to give it and you feel so differently about relating to yourself and others than me in certain big ways.  And you blamed ME so much of the time.  You think I am the one who needs to grow and change.  Yes I do…but my ex friend, so do you.  and I am no longer beating my head against the wall trying to please you or make you see I am worth sticking by and connecting with..  

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