Personal Expression, Release, and Exploration of the theme of "Breaking"

Posts tagged ‘obsessive’

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Know What You’re Made Of

Know What You're Made Of

Reality, Dissociation, Trying To Figure It Out To The Point Of Obsession ( (Could Be A Trigger For Some Who Have Dissociative Elements)

I am trying to break through to feeling my own realness and the realness of others and my connections to them, because I think I have some type of mild dissociation…

maybe it is a form of “derealization” I have, but don’t know what the correct word would be.  But a lot of times it feels like a part of me is not there, and is awoken at certain times for a brief time before I fall back into my normal state if not feeling fully Real.  I don’t know, is this a common way of being although it is not often identified, or is this a part of my illness…even if it is a common way of feeling, could be an unrecognized illness that is not seen as such but is experienced by many in this broken world.  Anyway, it seems that there is a part of me or parts of me that have become dissociated from rest part I am most often aware of, and I am not working as a whole.  I am always as a result obsessing about what Reality is and who is the ” Real” me, and trying to sort real from unreal, in an obsessive compulsive mind game that I constantly play aweigh myself (yes I have OCD).  Is this the reason? Because of a dissociation? And how do I integrate on a more regular basis?  It’s not that I have DID (dissociative identity disorder), I don’t have separate distinct personalities who are unknown to each other, just separated aspects of myself.

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