There’s a hidden language I am trying to get to, it lives deep inside. It is of desire, heart, and soul…and of connection, intimacy, fulfillment of deep desires, healing. At times I catch glimpses of it,yet, it remains hidden and buried.
At times this language is about breaking and being penetrated…about surrender, and giving over, hurting me to heal me…and having someone know me, see me, love me. Breaking me and breaking me open…touching me with soft healing strokes in the most sensitive places. Opening wounds and mending them with your touch. you are taking me deeper, to places seemingly long lost.
Make me trust you. Let me trust you. Let me know I’m safe with you. That I am safe to let you do these things to me.
You swiftly and decisively grab me, pull me against you, holding me securely. .i have wanted for so long to be in your arms, though i have feared the feelings inside me, feared being overcome by my longing and my helplessness with you.
First you make sure I know I am safe with you and of your intentions. To touch me, touch me so deep inside….you begin to run your fingers over me gently, over my face, my hair, the length of my body…my breasts, my stomach, my hips, my thighs, then slowly upward from my thighs…you caress me with first your fingers, your hands, then, your lips, your tongue… you caress my wounds inside. I am opening inside…You make me ache, cry, and scream for you…it hurts and heals as you kiss the pain and any last resistance away…until…until I am melting against you, melting into molten flowing rivers of warmth and sweet agony…then I am exploding…breaking inside and you are shattering me…while freeing me, destroying my last defenses. ..you totally embrace me, hold me hard and don’t let go…as I convulse and shake and quiver, in your arms…you kiss my face gently as my shaking resides…stroke my back, my hair…look at me with your dark intense gaze ….hold me still…reassure me that it will be okay and you are here with me and you are not going anywhere.
I break down again
My mind reaches its limits
Opening to silence.
Release. Opening. Understanding. Break open. Let it out.