Personal Expression, Release, and Exploration of the theme of "Breaking"

Posts tagged ‘recovery’

Separation

In this waiting room

In this cubicle

Walking down a deserted street

Floating in a black lake
Wondering if I drifted out too far
If I am caught in a rip current
That will keep me from getting back to shore.
My candle flickers
I cup my hands around it
To cover it,
Protect it from the southern winds
Focus intently on it
To keep the darkness from swallowing me.
The light came through cracks in the door
Through the dusty window
I keep my eyes on it
Training them not to waver.
But the light is on the other side
And the cracks are closing around themselves
The dust is growing thicker
The only way out is through they say
The only way out is through
Open the door, wide
Break the window glass
So no obstruction stands in between.
Nikki Ian
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Aside

Just Trying To Break Through

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New post on shatteredandshining

Just Trying To Break Through

by shatteredandshining

Trying to go within today and deal with my wounds and try to get closer to what is real to me and get a better understanding, reached out one last time yesterday to the ex friend who has abandoned thoroughly our friendship, was rejected, he told the person who passed along the message that he was my well wisher but he was completely closed forever to anything else.  He just views me as a manipulator who he has to be totally free of.  I too need to be totally free of him.  All he does is cause pain and stand in the distance.  I am getting stronger.

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If I Need To Let Go Let Me Let Go

I really have to accept that it is over and done.  He is not open to me any more or any further breakthroughs.  He said it.  He is done.  I have to realize he is not who I wanted him to be, and he is not wanting of what I thought I saw in him.  I have to move on to being myself separately and looking to new relationships and possibilities of relationships for the connections I truly need and want.  That’s all I can do.  I wanted to include him but he doesn’t want to be included.  God grant me the serenity to accept what I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.  God help me let go and let God (you).  God please help me and please help him

A Status I Just Wrote On Facebook, About What I Need To Recover

Freedom, I got a feeling of freedom just before, of totally cutting hope and ties with that untrue friend, of not needing to be made sick and bitter over hopin for something which is impossible, to actually be cared for enough and accepted enough that he would cut ally want to truly be friends with me. He is not capable of doing these things with me. So I give up, will not look to him for those needs, it was just wounding myself over and over. He is out of my life, and doesn’t see me, accept me, or relate to my views on negative emotions enough to be a friend. His girlfriend is also off my friends list now, I don’t have to worry about either of them anymore.

My Purpose

My writing will tell my story.  I want to speak out about my pain, struggles, desires, and learning process, to both be known to others, and to break walls and let people know they’re not alone.

A lot of times I am like a bouncing ball, here, there, all over the place, trying to be Real.  Like in Alice in Wonderland, there are a thousand signs pointing in different directions.  I find myself flitting this way and that, looking continually for the right way, for truth, for authenticity.  For congruence, integration, wholeness.

i want to be both vulnerable and strong, and find the security which doesn’t exclude the broken places.  I want to reach those who I am meant to connect with.

Quote

“There are the …

“There are the times when all of us experience muddled minds, periods of confusion, doubt, anxiety, uncertainty. This is our common human condition. For some, this is experienced for a much lengthier period. And to find sanctuary and a sense of peace requires a common human connection. Sadly, much of what is done in the name of ‘helping’ those who are lost and confused only generates more fear and confusion.” Dr. Dan Edmunds

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