Personal Expression, Release, and Exploration of the theme of "Breaking"

Posts tagged ‘sadness’

Reflections On Relationships, Getting Hurt, And Next Steps (trigger warning for some people)

What is connection? 

I wanted to really connect with a particular person who at first seemed open to it but then decided against it, it feels.  Sometimes I feel the feeling of the connection.  Then I wonder, am I feeling it? Or am I feeling something just in me unfelt by the other person.  And I think about how I had wanted something a lot and it was taken away.  The door was shut.  I wanted a level of personal ness and depth perhaps, and  bonding that perhaps thjus person just is not open to with me.  

All I can think is a) if this person is not open to it, all I can do is know what is real in ME that can’t be taken by anyone else, and that I CAN have in the future with someone who IS open to it, and, b), that IF the connection between me and this one person truly is real for both of us and not only me, (and including me, because I sometimes don’t know what connections are real for ME and which are not), then be will reconnect.  

In the meantime I must accept where things are at and that I may just have to let my dreams of a deeper connection with this person go and just crept what IS there and let the rest go.  Yes I know I repeated myself here.  

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If I Need To Let Go Let Me Let Go

I really have to accept that it is over and done.  He is not open to me any more or any further breakthroughs.  He said it.  He is done.  I have to realize he is not who I wanted him to be, and he is not wanting of what I thought I saw in him.  I have to move on to being myself separately and looking to new relationships and possibilities of relationships for the connections I truly need and want.  That’s all I can do.  I wanted to include him but he doesn’t want to be included.  God grant me the serenity to accept what I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.  God help me let go and let God (you).  God please help me and please help him

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