Personal Expression, Release, and Exploration of the theme of "Breaking"

Posts tagged ‘self expression’

Self Doubt. Can Anyone Be And Stay Interested In Me.

Feeling self doubts and insecurities. If I am love able and attractive to people who I have that type of attraction to or not, if they get to know me. Is it possible for someone to be romantically interested in me who I feel the same and for them to also stay interested in me. I can only be me and follow my heart and my tendencies for self expression and communication. I know I over analyze everything and some would think I am TOO open and up front about myself. But this is how it makes sense to me and feels most comfortable. I don’t like playing social games and by nature I’m a verbal person. I have a lot of contradictions in me, always trying to find balance, integration, embracing wholeness. I can be too assertive and direct, or too shy, unsure, and withdrawn. I can be too vulnerable but to some I may not seem vulnerable enough. Always, in Betweens.

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Me (collage) and, great song lyrics by The Goo Goo Dolls

Me (collage) and, great song lyrics by The Goo Goo Dolls

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Being Passionately

Being Passionately

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A Collage I Made At Program

A Collage I Made At Program

Aspects of Me

My Take On “Negative Emotions”

I am NOT a “happy happy joy joy” kind of person, who believes in suppressing “negative” emotions and honestly it pushes my buttons whenever I feel someone is judging me for that. I embrace the positive, I work with the negative and accept that it will sometimes be there. That is not the same as surrendering to it. The reality is, I HAD A MAJOR HEARTBREAK very very recently, and I am not ashamed of my emotions. I am trying to work through it and recover, at my own pace. No one else’s. I will, however, look to the positive when possible and find hope and strength when and where I can, for myself, and also to be a positive force in the lives of people suffering who I may be able to help.

 

My Purpose

My writing will tell my story.  I want to speak out about my pain, struggles, desires, and learning process, to both be known to others, and to break walls and let people know they’re not alone.

A lot of times I am like a bouncing ball, here, there, all over the place, trying to be Real.  Like in Alice in Wonderland, there are a thousand signs pointing in different directions.  I find myself flitting this way and that, looking continually for the right way, for truth, for authenticity.  For congruence, integration, wholeness.

i want to be both vulnerable and strong, and find the security which doesn’t exclude the broken places.  I want to reach those who I am meant to connect with.

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