Personal Expression, Release, and Exploration of the theme of "Breaking"

Posts tagged ‘trust’

Being Held (a story I just wrote)

http://wattpad.com/story/10681138?utm_content=share_passage&utm_source=ios&utm_medium=link

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Hidden Language of Desire

There’s a hidden language I am trying to get to, it lives deep inside. It is of desire, heart, and soul…and of connection, intimacy, fulfillment of deep desires, healing. At times I catch glimpses of it,yet, it remains hidden and buried.

At times this language is about breaking and being penetrated…about surrender, and giving over, hurting me to heal me…and having someone know me, see me, love me. Breaking me and breaking me open…touching me with soft healing strokes in the most sensitive places. Opening wounds and mending them with your touch. you are taking me deeper, to places seemingly long lost.

Make me trust you. Let me trust you. Let me know I’m safe with you. That I am safe to let you do these things to me.

Taken (erotica)

You swiftly and decisively grab me, pull me against you, holding me securely. .i have wanted for so long to be in your arms, though i have feared the feelings inside me, feared being overcome by my longing and my helplessness with you.

First you make sure I know I am safe with you and of your intentions. To touch me, touch me so deep inside….you begin to run your fingers over me gently, over my face, my hair, the length of my body…my breasts, my stomach, my hips, my thighs, then slowly upward from my thighs…you caress me with first your fingers, your hands, then, your lips, your tongue… you caress my wounds inside. I am opening inside…You make me ache, cry, and scream for you…it hurts and heals as you kiss the pain and any last resistance away…until…until I am melting against you, melting into molten flowing rivers of warmth and sweet agony…then I am exploding…breaking inside and you are shattering me…while freeing me, destroying my last defenses. ..you totally embrace me, hold me hard and don’t let go…as I convulse and shake and quiver, in your arms…you kiss my face gently as my shaking resides…stroke my back, my hair…look at me with your dark intense gaze ….hold me still…reassure me that it will be okay and you are here with me and you are not going anywhere.

My Fantasies. What I Want Most Of All…

Break me sensually. Then hold me and comfort me while I shake….
Another fantasy. Sharing and opening ourselves to one another. Including our light and dark aspects, happiness and sadness…

Let me open up to you. Open up to me. Let me trust you and take me to levels of passion, vulnerability and surrender. Take me for all of me, and let me take you for all of you. If you want me to learn certain things to make you happy, I will do my best.

Let me be who I am, and respect me.

Reflections On BDSM, Submission, Who I Am And Am Not, Love, Etc. Just Sorting Through Some Stuff Here

I wonder about some things.  For example, the submissive aspect of me, what that entails for me.  I know I want to love and be loved, and to be understood, cared for, comforted when needed, reassured, shared with, depth, closeness, intimacy…and for me and the other person to be able to break through walls of the other person to be vulnerable and to feel.  But they’re is the submissive side, what exactly does that entail? Is that a fantasy to have someone who can at times (not always) take control, guide and lead me, physically and emotionally? Is it the “sensual domination” and wanting to be held down and restrained? Is it a desire to have someone who knows me well enough to break my defenses down and have me be vulnerable with them? 

 

Some people are in twenty four seven dominant/sub relationships where that is an integral aspect of the bond and is always present…I guess it’s a bond of trust and for the submissive, being able to submit yourself, totally trust and be open with someone, give yourself to them, and have someone know you that we’ll and care for you to the extent that you open yourself up in a way you wouldn’t with anyone else.  And for the dominant having someone trust you that totally, let you inside their walls, devote themselves and give themselves over…   Those aspects I can understand and relate to…

 

i think i am a little confused as to whether the twenty four seven dynamic would be right for me or not.  I kind of think it wouldn’t be because I don’t know that I could give up that much control and put myself at the mercy of another to that extent…and I know one thing, I’d have to hold onto myself and my own sense of strength from within…whether or not I could do that in a twenty four seven D/S relationship, I am confused about, and don’t know enough about “The lifestyle”… Or my own tolerance and limits.  I know one thing though, to submit to someone like that I’d have to really have a strong sense of connection, love, and trust, and that I would still be intact, and be able to become more of who I am, not less…

 

 

one day at a time…I’m not sure the answers right now.  

Breaking

 

Some people think of “breaking” and “broken” as bad things but there are some things that do need to be broken. Bad habits, a lot of inhibitions, walls, sometimes defenses, structures that cause more harm than good…self prisons…hard shells…obsolete social standards and taboos…but should people take it upon themselves to try to do this to another person? Only if there is enough trust, willingness, and caring involved…people’s boundaries and limitations need to be respected too…but in the right context it is not a bad thing, just has to be the right context

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